Left Or Right Brained Horoscope July 2010

Right Brained:

Aries: Try not to be so pretty all the time, you're making the rest of us masturbate.

Taurus: If you spent less time reading stupid shit you'd probably spend more time watching stupid shit.

Gemini: Try to concentrate on not sucking so hard this month, if you can.

Cancer: Coughing and Sneezing ARE TWO DIFFERENT THINGS!

Leo: Try to sleep off the majority of your hangovers this month, it's good for the heart and the liver.

Virgo: My own feelings on the matter of your horoscope are too frightening to say.

Libra: Crumbly bricks always lead to poor results in an earthquake.

Scorpio: Lots of eggheads don't like potato salad!

Sagittarius: Running is a great way to stay in shape, but the real secret is that you must only do it between the hours of 10:30 and 11:30. Am or Pm you ask? wouldn't you like to know....

Capricorn: Clang! Clang! Clang! Clang!

Aquarius: Wendys? McDonalds? Wendys? McDonalds? Wendys? McDonalds? Wendys? McDonalds?

Pisces: lost in space? don't worry this month you'll meet Major Tom

Left Brained:

Aries: You better jump through as many hoops as your doughnuts will allow this month!

Taurus: Don't get caught in the crossfire, many things are worth dying for but thats not one!

Gemini: Say hi to your mom, she misses you

Cancer: If something seems like it tastes like cake, then you should spit it out immediately!

Leo: It's all good man! Things will be great for you this July!!!

Virgo: If you can't duck the shit, chicken it!

Libra: This month could be very dangerous, make sure that you wear protection! hard hats, helmets, you know...

Scorpio: Rock and roll, ain't noise pollution. Remember that...

Sagittarius: If ya get hit, with a bucket of shit, be sure to close your eyes!

Capricorn: That monkey won't dance, no matter how hard you punch it. Better buy a cat.

Aquarius: It's a good month for you to invest in anything that you think of, everything will go great as long as you spend LARGE sums of money on the first thing that pops into your head, but not your heart!

Pisces: Listen to more Eddie Van Halen, if your thinkin it, do it, might as well jump!



Check out this right brained article!